"Little Willie" Poems
75I was in the third grade when my parents began home schooling my brother and me. We were not sure we would like it, and though we missed recess, we found the rest of it to be much better than traditional schooling.
One of the course I remember my mom teaching us was on types of literature. She introduced us to all different kinds of writing. Fiction, nonfiction, how-to guides and whimsical. She read us stories that had morals, from the McGuffey readers, and stories that were just silly. She also gave us a course in poetry. We tried our hand at writing Haiku, and read Robert Frost. Then she showed us limericks (see edit).
The first one I remember reading,
"Algae met a bear,
The bear was bulgy.
The bulge was Algae."
didn't make the most sense to me, but I found it funny anyway, especially since a had a bulgy aunt, who I could imagine meeting a bear. After that we ran into some "Little Willie" poems, by Harry Graham They were unlike anything we had heard before, and we could hardly believe they were in books put together by adults. They too similar to the things one heard from the pastor's kids after potlucks -- the type of things you would never tell your parents! But, here, they were in a book my mom had given us to read!
We had such a blast reciting them, that they have ever been with me, and over the years I have collected more. Here is a sampling. Not every "Little Willie" poem you find is by Harry Graham, but all are inspired by him.
Edit: Thanks to a kind reader, I find that I was mistaught.... What was labled a limirick in the children's book of poetry that we had was not. A limirik is a 5 line poem, not four, originating in the town of Limerick, Ireralnd.
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"Little Willie" Poetry
...not to be confused with "Slick Willy" poems...
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Willie saw some dynamite,
Didn't understand it quite.
Curiosity seldom pays.
It rained Willie seven days.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Willie, with a thirst for gore,
Nailed his sister to the door.
Mother said with humor quaint,
"Now, Willie dear, don't scratch the paint."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Little Willie, with a curse
Threw the teapot at the nurse.
When it struck her on the nose,
His father cheered, "How straight he throws!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Willie built a guillotine,
Tried it out on sister Jean.
Said Mother, as he got the mop,
"These messy games have got to stop.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
In the family drinking well,
Willie pushed his sister Nelle,
She's there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we'll have to buy a filter.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Little Willie, dressed in sashes,
Fell in the fire and burnt to ashes.
Later on the room grew chilly,
But no one cared to poke poor Willy.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Little Willie, feeling well
Pushed his sister down the well.
Said his mother, drawing water;
"It's mighty tough to raise a daughter!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Willie poisoned his father's tea;
Father died in agony.
Mother came, and looked quite vexed:
"Really, Will," she said, "what next?"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Little Willie shot his sister;
She was dead before we missed her.
Willie's always up to tricks.
Ain't he cute? He's only six.
Ivorwen, 2010.
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Comments or your Favorite Harry Graham Poem.Loading...
Only one problem, these ain't "limericks". Limericks are 5-liners in the AABBA rhyming style and in anapest meter with three feet in lines 1,2 and 5 and 2 feet in lines 3 and 4. Soiunds boringly technical, but limericks have a particular lilt - they are not just any old short verse, quip or caption.
Thank your addition, DrBJ. I think my kids will like that one... as long as they don't practice it!
Doug, Thank you very much for bringing this to my attention. Having always seen them labeled limericks, it never occurred to me to check and see if this was accurate. I appreciate your comment, and will amend this article.
It's interesting how cruel, yet amusing these are. I don't remember these from my childhood. If you look back at cartoons from the 40's through the 60's, they're full of characters being mutilated and other dastardly deeds. Yet kids know that it's only a cartoon. Same with these near-limericks.
I can imagine some people today might find such things 'politically incorrect', and think they had some serious negative influence, but kids know better.
btw, just a little correction in your preface above: the line that reads "We had such a blast reciting them, that they have ever been with me"...I think 'always' would be a better fit than 'ever'.
The title of the book these originated in is "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes," and I am sure it was 'politically incorrect' even in it's day... but that didn't stop people from buying it.
Personally, I love the old cartoons and The Three Stooges. They are so overboard on the stupidity and harm that even young children know better. I don't find the same to be true of today's more subtle cartoons.
...and thank you for your critic. I am considering your suggestion. :)
Ah, the quintessential contrast to be found in these poems! The blatant horror of Willie's actions, and the absolute calmness with which they are met. Thanks for including more poems than I knew existed.
Your welcome, LiftedUp.
As a teacher, I love this hub. Thanks for share your educational experience with us. I also enjoy your poem. Very inspiring hub. ~prasetio
Thank you prasetio. I love learning, and I do think it was coming across fun things like this that helped to keep me going, even when it was hard to gain new concepts.
I have never heard of these. I did enjoy reading them.
Granny, I am glad you liked them!
....so enchanting is this hub of yours - I really didn't want it to stop - is it because you made me feel like a little boy again - hey wait I'm still a little boy!!!!
Just keep an eye on that little boy. I bet he is ornery.
I was sheltered I guess. Willie was rotten. LOL Loved it though, thanks.
You sheltered? I kind of doubt it! You not familiar with Willie? I can accept that. Glad you loved them. It is always fun to share favorites.
I enjoyed these also. Would the Little Willie poems be considered epigrams? Although I'm a song writer, I'm not really up on these things I'm afraid. If you haven't already, check out "Epigramman" He's a gentleman, and genuis too,
thanks,
jim
Hello Jim,
I really don't know what they are classified as. I had never run across the word epigram until I ran across Epigramman. It is still new to me, and honestly, I haven't taken time to look it up. I guess I would rather just enjoy some things than worry about the technicalities and terms. :)
~Ivorwen
When I was a little boy my Uncle Dutch bought me a joke book. The jokes were funny but the part I liked best about the book were the "Little Willy Limericks", so much so that I memorized several that I can still recite today, exactly as they appeared in that book :-)
Little Willy in bows and sashes
Fell in the fire and got burned to ashes
In the winter when the weather is chilly
no one likes to poke up Willy
Willy on the railroad track
The engine gave a squeel
The engineer just took a spade
And scraped him off the wheel
Willy found some dynamite
Couldn't understand it quite
Curiosity never pays
It rained Willy seven days
Willy split the baby's head
To see if brains were gray or red
Mother sighed and said to father
Children are an awful bother
One other from that book I recall....
There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a pack of seeds
In a month, silly ass
He was covered with grass
And couldn't sit down for the weeds
Rodger, thank you so much for sharing those. A few of them are brand new to me!
Hi, I had never heard of these either! but they are great, aren't they? can you imagine anybody reading them at school now? ha ha nell
Nell, I like the idea of them being read in school! In fact, I think they ought to read them at school now--life is far too serious, especially for kids.
hey but why are all such nursery rhymes cruel.
Points made by extremes and exaggeration? To make them memorable? Because we learn better from things that stick with us?
And, not all nursery rhymes are cruel...
Hickity, Pickity, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Some times nine and some times ten,
Hickity, Pickity, my black hen.
This was so fun to read and very refreshing. Thank you for sharing.
Acaetnna, I am glad you enjoyed it!
Little Willie bored of stealing cars
Swiped a rocket, flew to Mars
There he pursued his normal pattern
Now the Martians live on Saturn
Murray Schwartz, thank you so much, for your brilliant contribution! I love that poem!
I skipped this hub when it first came out, but I've rediscovered it, and laughed my brains out. I've quoted a few of these to my kids, and they just gave me strange looks. But then, my eight-year-old Billy can be so literal. ;)
Don't worry, ButterflyWings, my very literal child didn't get them at first either. Now he thinks they are funny.
I hope your brains will be okay. ;)
I'm recovering, thanks.
Little Willie was surely no fool...
Pushed his sister into the pool.
Then when Christmas time had come...
Willie's presents were double the sum.
Not the greatest, but your hub cracked me up, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Add me to the ranks who've never heard of "little Willie" before, but thank you for enlightnening us!
Shynsly, I love it! Your poem is fabulous! :D
Thanks for contributing.
I remember these as a kid. Here is one you didn't list: Little Willie full of glee
Put uranium in Grandma's tea
Now he thinks it's quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.
I'm going to get with my sister to see if we can find the book we had these in. Maybe I will find some more to share.
I love that Pamhandle!
As a new to hubpages, I loved this hub! Very refreshing!
Thank you Genna, and welcome to Hubpages!
There is another one:
Willie was a chemist,
but Willie is no more
What he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4.
Thank you Petite!
Hi Ivorwen, Found the pages from my mother's book and found you a couple new ones:
Willie floated o'er the falls
Amid his friends' most frantic calls.
His father cried, "How sad the day
Our children start to drift away."
and
Willie's new psychiatrist
Has joined the others on the list.
They all ran screaming off and hid
When faced with Little Willie's id.
and
Little Willie on a farm
Had fell and broke his arm;
Of all that knew him there was none
Who didn't ask: "What! Only one?"
and lastly
Little Willie, just for kicks,
A rocket to his scooter fixed.
His neighbers now are quite content
To see Will in the firmament.
Hope you enjoy these. You are on my favorites now so I can check in and see if anyone has found more. Just loved these as a kid.
Thank you so much Pamhandle! The farm one has me laughing, because I know kids like that. :)
My personal favorite is missing, and it goes like this:
Little Willy was our darling.
Little Willy is no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
Thank you Dr. RAH, for your contribution!
Heres one: Little Willy hit the ball, lined one down the schoolhouse hall, through the dorr came Professor Hill, several teeth are missing still. got another Little willy lit a rocket which his dad had in his pocket the next day he told his cousin dan my dads a traveling man.
Some more: little willy on his bike through the village took a hike, Mrs Thompson blocked the walk she will live but still cant talk. Another: In the well did little willy push his little sister lilly, mother couldnt find her daughter now we sterilize our water. One more: Little willy with a thirst for gore nailed a spider to the door his mother said with humor quaint careful Will dont mar the paint!
I like this collection. Reminds me of my Uncle Larry shot An Arrow poems, kind of, I think, well maybe not. Lol. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thanks for stopping by, PaddyBoy!
Falconetti, thank you so much for your contributions!
i know i am new on this hub thing but ivorwen those poems are the most awsomest poems i have ever heard maybe you should make more poems up i just love them.
~~lindsy lohan :) you rock the world
My mother (born 1910) remembered having a copy of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and taught me two of the rhymes: Billy in one of his brand new sashes, fell in the fire and burnt to ashes and even now though the room grows chilly, we haven't got the heart to poke poor Billy. The other was about Willy who swallowed a thermometer and his mother at the funeral was heard to remark: "It was a chilly day for Willy when the mercury went down.".
Hello Saucy Sally! I love those poems. :)
You know, it just occurred to me that Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes is old enough, it should be public domain! So I found an e-copy: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/35051/35051-h/35051
So nice to make you acquaintance.
does enyone know this one.poor little willie is deaf and dumb,poor little willie insane.his eyes are all glueie and glum what a shame.my mum use to sing it to us when we were poorly[meaning]someone worse of then us
That is one I have never heard. Was the tune she used from another song or did it have its own?
if you like limericks follow me
drbj Level 8 Commenter 20 months ago
Great collection, Ivorwen, here's another:
Willie sneezed a sneeze into the air.
It fell to earth we know not where.
But hard and cold were the looks of those,
In the vicinity where Willie snoze!